velomech - This sucks...It freakin 4:45 am...what gives?

05:57 am - This sucks...It freakin 4:45 am...what gives?

I still can sleep. This is BS.I know the holidays get stressful but this is crazy. Everytime I try to close my eyes, Work stress pops up. Worry about rent, Taxes...all the usual bullshit assocciated with a small business.

Sometimes it gets to be too much. When you dream of moving and changing your name, I think it's time for changes, right?

I mean, there only so many late night WRC Rally videos you can watch on the internet. At some point something just has to go.

I freakin hate it. Stress. In all honesty, everytime it gets too over whelming I just start thinking about the kids. Then really, nothing seems to matter except that theyre healthy and having fun. Everything else takes a back seat. IRS who?

I have been sitting on my ass over the last week, given all of the wonderful rain, I havent ridden at all. I hate that. Probably one of the reasons I am having a phukin anxiety attack at 4:45 am on a sunday. I havent had a release of energy in a while. Once you get used to exhausting yourself physically several times a week you need it. Otherwise you aint right.

I loaned out my rear wheel on my roadbike otherwise I could have hit the road a couple times. So, mainly I need a dry trail to ride or Im not riding. Im gonna go hit YARGO in the am. try and do 5 laps nice and easy. See If I can remember how to pedal a bike. Gonna suck doing it on no sleep. Wierd shit going on for sure.

Im gaining wieght. Ankle is still sore. I havent taken a single supplement in three days. I ran out of nearly everything. My eating habits are sucking.

TO quote the immortal Freddy Mercury.."Bad decisions, I've made a few,I consider it a challenge to the whole human race that I'd never lose"...


Damn, Now that Im writing all this down, it sounds like Im throwing in the towel on some stuff huh? Im not, maybe it just sounds that way.

Think I'll start playing the lottery, seems to work for some people.

So, Deb took Sandy to the vet. Yay! A vet bill for a dog I dont own. Cant say Im psyked about that. aparrantly Sandy, the stary that just had puppies in my kitchen was getting overwhelmed, the vet said. 8 puppies is a lot for a young dog....no shit. Jeezuz! I went from having one dog to having ten, overnight. WTF. Someone at the shop commented on how my "Redneck" status went through the roof with that one.

Need to start making some serious life changes. Phuk Im sick and tired of typing. I need to sleep. If I take a sleeping aid, I wont wake up all day, and miss riding, and playing with the kids or the wife. If I sit here I wont get any sleep and I wont be able to ride...wish my life was a little more normal.

At least the puppies are cute.

Later
Hodge